Interesting....

I have had tons of people approach me as of late to ask about adoption through foster care. We adopted 5 children through foster care in Nov. of 2010. It was awesome! I am glad that people are thinking about adoption...it's SOOO important and I am hugely in support of anyone who feels led to adopt. I pray we will have the chance to do it again someday! BUT....these people who are calling me all say the same things...we want kids with no or very few "issues"...only one child....and a child under 2! That's all fine and dandy....but then why are they looking to adopt through foster care? That may sound harsh....and maybe it is harsh. I am a strong supporter of Children and Youth....and foster care is primarily for kids who have "issues"...to say you want a child with no "issues" is just like saying that you really just want a kid and don't really want to do the REAL "foster care thing". People are under the wrong impression by thinking that children who were abused under the age of 3 will suffer no ill effects from their abuse. Wrong. It's part of them. A very important part of what makes them who they are. A part that needs talked about, cried about, prayed about WITH the child. These certain people who have been asking me questions about adoption really don't even intend to tell the kids the truth about who they are. Adoptive parents cannot just pretend to be "birth parents" to these kids...we are not. They have a whole separate "family" that they will want to and need to know about and maybe even meet so they can have some peace with things. I guess the whole point of all of this mumble jumble is this....adoption is not about the adoptive family....it's about the child whom you are adopting. Adoptive families need to realize adoption is not a fairy tale...it's not all dreamy and easy. It's not like you wave a magic wand and have a new family who lives in harmony. Not AT ALL! It's hard...it's sad...it's exhausting. It's SOOOO worth it. But, these people who are asking me questions don't see it that way and then take GREAT offense to my answers to their questions! they ask me if all of my kids get along...meaning birth and adopted...answer : NO! My birth daughter and my oldest adopted daughter hate each other. My adopted daughter tries to ruin my birth daughter's life...by stealing from her and being REALLY mean. Then they ask me..."why did you adopt her then? What are YOU going to DO?" I answer them..."I will DO nothing and we adopted her because God said to do so and because we love her."....then the person who is asking a million questions looks at me like I have 2 heads! People ask me if my baby (he's 4 now, but came to us at 10 months) was "normal".....keep in my mind...these people only want babies...I get to tell them that he hated everyone and would scream like you were gonna kill him when you touched him for over 6 months! That he still has food issues from being starved. they just say "oh"...I feel like I am not being an encouragement to these people and that's wrong of me. It's just that they are not appearing to want to adopt through foster care for the reasons it was intended. Adoption through foster care is beautiful...but it's hard work. It's not just a way to get a "free" adoption! (the county you live in usually pays for the adoption fees)....it's to help kids have a better life. It's to minister to lost souls and show then that God loves them. It's to show then that no matter how many times they steal from you or try to kill your pets that you will love them and pray for them. It's NOT to make them feel creepy for what they do...it's all manifested from their abuse. It's NOT to pretend that nothing happened to them....that makes them feel "dirty" and "odd" for the things they think, say, and do. It's NOT a way for people to get a ready made family. I pray for these people and I think I have upset them with my answers. They were honest answers and they were just shocked by what we live through...daily. I see it as a blessing....they are scared. I pray anyone who is thinking of adopting...decide what you are looking for. Remember that any kids who are up for adoption WILL have issues....they are up for adoption after all! Remember that's it's NOT about you...it's about them. If you adopt through foster care....know the adopted child may never love you....they may never even be able to show love. Love them anyway. they may never be able to eat like a normal person....teach them anyway. They may try to kill you in your sleep....make them feel safe. OR....they could adjust normally and feel like they are just part of your family. We have both. I just described my kids. the thing is....you don't know what's going to happen or what it's going to be like. There are so many failed adoptions because people give up. They had a picture in their mind....and when the picture isn't just as they had envisioned....they are done. This is horrific for the kids....it makes them full of hate for God. Again, if you are thinking about adoption....figure out why you want to....what you want....pray....and don't give up! I pray that many families feel led to adopt....it's very important...it's a command from God to take care of the orphans....just go into it with real expectations and know it's not fair to your adopted child to out those fairy take dreams on thier shoulders!

Fall Centerpiece

I was looking around....trying to figure out what I could make into a fall centerpiece....this is what we came up with! I love it! I love that it was free! I love that Rob helped me with it! We saw in a magazine that people decorated with chunks of tree trunk, we thought it was cool....so out came the chainsaw....and this is what we ended up with.

I pray that the people who gather around this table will share the love of the Lord and we will have sweet and godly fellowship this Thanksgiving. I pray that they will all be able to feel God's love for them...and be thankful.

Object Lesson From God!

Yesterday we were doing our family devotional....titled..."Temporary Treasure"...the scripture reading to go along with it was Matthew 6:19-21....the devotional was about how we need to not hold tight to our earthly treasures....but work to store up treasures in heaven. It spoke of how we are to handle ourselves when things that we hold dear get broken or lost. (this is a children's devotional)....as I was turning the page I looked at my left hand....and....my diamond had fallen out of my wedding ring! Next to my Bible, my wedding ring is my moset "prized" possesion! I was upset...but this even was a gift from God! It was the perfect object lesson! I got all the kids around and within 2 minutes Kate (my 5yr old) found my little rock...on the throw rug in the kitchen! that was such a God thing! I then was able to sit down with the kids and explain how that really tied in with what the Word tells us. I'll bet that they will have that piece of scriputre hidden in their hearts due to God's object lesson!

By the way....I am getting my ring re-set and re0sized next week for about $100....so not too bad!

Kids....Frugal or Not?

I often hear that people don't "want" more kids because they think "they" cost too much. I have thought much about this. Yes, children do cost money...they eat and need clothes. I will not deny that my food bill has increased since we have grown our family! That is a burden financially...but it's expected. You expect to buy clothes for children, but there are ways to cut costs. It saddens me to think that people use this as an excuse to not follow the will of God. I thought I would list just a few things that I could think of that people could use as an excuse that kids cost too much, and a way to avoid the cost.

Babies:

clothing...you could buy used, wear hand downs, and what I do is buy neutral colors so they can be shared between sexes.

Baby food....make your own! Those jars cost a lot!

Gerber Bottled Juices....just water down the juice your whole family drinks.

Bibs....a dish towel works great!

Kids:

special shampoo.....teach them to close their eyes and look up...lol...we all use the same shampoo!

special bodywash....we all use the same soaps...either bar soap or a "regular" smelling bodywash. Babies should use something more gentle.

Toothpaste....we all use the same as soon as child can spit out what's in their mouth!

Toys....children who are close to the same age don't all need the same toy...they can share! I know a lady who buys all of her girls and then the boys the same toy so they don't have to share.

Toys....try not to buy gender specific toys, they can all play with them!

Clothes...again, hand downs, used, and for instance....plain white turtleneck shirts can go for either boy or girl under sweaters for added warmth. We have had the same set of turtlenecks around here for years!!!

Bedding....don't buy "kid" bedding...plain is best as it can be passed around from child to child.

McDonald's....yup, we all eat there from time to time! People always ask us how we afford it. They think that everyone gets a happy meal! Not so much. A few times a year, yes. This is how I do it for the kids....on the cheap! I get them all a $1 sandwich...and a few boxes of fries to share, a few drinks to share (I split them up into cups)....and there you have it!

Christmas....kids don't need everything they WANT!

We need to remember that children and a gift and not a burden! Yes, they do cost some money...everything does...but people make it seem much more than it needs to be!

Those are just a few ideas I had....share yours!

Provision....the Frugal Kind

The Lord's provision always amazes me! What a blessing this is to us! We eat around 7 deer a year, so this is a blessed start. It just makes me sit in awe when I think about how God has provided all we NEED to live within His creation.

On a frugal note...this is CHEAP food! He buys his hunting tags...I don't really know how much it is...not a lot. Other people we know shoot and give us the deer. We process our own meat. Super cheap eats! That along with the produce we can from the garden...and we will have some nice meals this winter!

Big Stuff & Deep Thoughts

Wow! What a time of it we are having. BIG stuff...I won't get into it all, but let me say that 911 has even been called this week! (everything is OK...just a scare). The last few days have left my mind spinning and heart aching. Wondering how and why things don't go "as planned"...how people can hurt you and say "I didn't mean it"....and that's somehow supposed to be ok?? Left me wondering if letting the Lord determine our family size was and is really the smartest thing? Why is parenting so painful and hard? How can people say things they say?? How can people look at my family and since it's large and we adopted 5 kids that they can ask me things that nobody should even say outloud? Hmmmm? So, those are the deep thoughts.

I KNOW the answers to many of those questions, if not all of them. I have been a saved person for some time, I read my Bible daily...so I have found the answers in the Good Book. So, like I said I KNOW them...in my head...but as you can see this is where my heart has been left. Such weak faith. God is using this time of pain to grow and mold me. For instance, last night a lady I have never met before was talking to me (our church had a Fall Fest for the kids) and she asked me if i have a hard time loving my adopted kids like my own birth kids....she thought she would have trouble with that! My jaw hit the floor...and I said "no"...they are ALL my kids! This pained my heart...was this true? At the beginning....no, that's not true! I did struggle! I have a child who will kill me! that was hard to deal with....at first. Now, I do love them all the same and I can say that truthfully...how am I so transparent? How could she see that? Why am I ashamed to admit that? Maybe the Lord was directing her to adopt, maybe He wanted me to share. So, share I did. Maybe I sounded like a crazy person...this is what happens...I share our story and peopke say.."oh, you are a saint to adopt abused kids"....ha! What a joke! I am FAR from it! I am just a vessle the Lord is using to help these kids....it has nothing to do with "me"! But God is using this to grow me. I should not be ashamed of that growth....where I was and now where I am. Shame on me. We had an issue with our oldest daughter. A BIG one. I was ashamed. Why? It was her choice...she is my child, yes, but more than that she is my sister in Christ. God has shown me that she makes choice, I make choices, we have to live with the ones we make. she is responsible for herself ( as far as her choices, when she is sinning anyway). You see, she did something that she knew was not honoring to God...and her sin bit her in the butt! I'm glad. It has hurt, still does....but it's not about me. I pray that we can all grow and learn from this. I pray we can move forward. I pray the changes we have made as far as rules and restrictions will honor my Father. Life is tricky. Life is short. Life is for growing. Praise the Lord!